Footsteps in the sand, just one set, like in this photo, reminds me of the story about the Questioner. When s/he met God, asked, “why is it that there are only one set of footprints at times that were most difficult in my life as I look back on it?” God answered, “it was then that I carried you.” That’s how it feels today. My father passed away very suddenly, from a massive cerebral stroke and hemorrhage. Active, laughing and connected with family until 24 hours ago, on a breathing tube and machines for a few hours, allowing all of us kids to say good-bye, be there for Mom, and let Dad go to God. Time stands still and passes so quickly. The memories flood, the thoughts that flow, are good, celebrating Dad’s life and crying over his death, confounded by the assumption that “Dad’ll be around forever”, and surprised by the impersonal nature of synchronicity and Divine Providence. It seems so apparent that all things work out for good. Yes, it’s true in every circumstance that I experienced today.
Family members gathered and communicated at exactly the right times. Neighbors checked on Mom and Dad, and this neighbor was able to call 911 as soon as Dad was found to be unresponsive. Doctors and medical personnel were hand-picked for our family, giving us space and comfort and dignity. Time stopped, and the minute hand kept going, as I was able to write some thoughts down in the hallway alone. The tears flowed, as well as the stories, the camaraderie we have as a family, brothers and sisters all different and special. The coming days will be more celebratory and sad than regretting anything. Dad’s life was a full and loving one. I am glad to be his daughter. I am honored to be living with a part of his legacy to pass on in my life, no matter how humbly. He was the person who taught me humility, who taught me courage, who taught me love has no conditions, in all his daily actions and words, beyond words. I love my Dad and am grateful for every day that we had together, for every laugh we shared, for every time we didn’t see eye to eye, but rather heart to heart.
In the circle of life, love wins. Gratitude triumphs, Hope springs eternal, and all the other stuff slips away in a memory of dust. The memories that I’ll cherish are right here right now at my mental fingertips, and I’ll share them freely with tears and laughter in the company of greatness, gratefully. I love you, Dad and will miss your presence in the routine moments of love you shared with each of us as one of your children. Thank you forever for who you are.
In gratitude for Life and Love and God’s presence in one man,